Detroit's Duds

By John LeBlanc

January 20, 2006 - DETROIT - Now that all of the free shrimp has been digested, and the last open bar has closed, let’s look at some of the Detroit duds that may have escaped the jaundiced eye of overfed journos blinded by strobe lights, confetti and the occasional booth babe:



Admittedly, a tough act to follow, the Lamborghini Miura Concept was at the very least a disappointing redo of the original Italian supercar, and, when compared against the current Lamborghini line-up, seemingly unnecessary. Trying to catch the magic that Ford created reincarnating its own 1960’s icon, the GT, the Miura Concept’s only accomplishment was to achieve the unheard of: create an undesirable Lambo.



One auto show after another, Ford’s Lincoln Division has been teasing us with back-to-the-roots concepts to make us remember what big, bad Lincolns use to be. Arguably the best was the Rat Pack era-inspired 2002 Continental Concept that distilled the zeitgeist of powerful Lincolns from the swingin’ ‘60s with a touch of modern classicism. So what’s with the dreadfully dull Lincoln MKS? Cynics concluded Lincoln’s dependence on the new Volvo S80 platform might have washed away any Lincoln character. Whatever. From 30 feet away, the long overhangs, swoopy C-pillar and non-specific lighting details ended up as a generic collection of elements that say anything but Lincoln.



Smoothing out the fenders of the slow-selling Dodge Durango, adding some strakes to the hood, a few dollops of chrome—and the final piece de resistance—the front end of a Town & Country minivan, et voila: the Chrysler Aspen. Chrysler must figure that anyone who can afford the Durango’s outrageous fuel bills won’t blink at the Aspen’s premium pricing.



A "soft-roader" Jeep was always going to challenge the macho Jeep brand. But the tacked-on design pastiches and poor proportioning only highlighted what the Jeep Compass really is: a body-kitted Dodge Caliber. The worst view has to be the front, where the grafted-on Jeep fender flares make the car look like it’s running on space-saving flats. Rubicon ready? Not!



Chrysler design chief, Trevor Creed, must have locked his team in a studio with a Rolls Royce Phantom and ordered, “Copy this—or else!” The grille, wheels, door handles, roof and fender lines are all Xeroxed from the Roller. Not that plagiarism is new to the car design world, but Chrysler needs to fix their copier because the Chrysler Imperial Concept’s proportions are too either too tall, or too short, I’m still not quite sure. The odd end result brought back memories of ancient Korean luxury cars or Russian limos, and actually caused Desperate Housewife, Eva Longoria, to choke on her solitary line at the Imperial’s press conference.

- John LeBlanc, Publisher, www.straight-six.com

© National Post 2006. This article originally appeared in The National Post's Driving.